The car gods are laughing at us. Actually, everyone is laughing at us.

The new, awesome cleaning woman was scheduled to come over today and we did not have cash to give her. So, we raced to Publix to make a withdrawal this early morning. When their was cold steaming up our windows. Jay dropped me off, I ran in. I was charged $3 for the withdrawal (thank goodness that gets refunded!) and ran back out. Jay slowly moved the car towards me.

Me: What’s wrong?
Him: (Silence) I hit a shopping cart.
Me: (Confused) You hit a shopping cart?
Me: (Thinking to myself—How do you hit a shopping cart in an empty parking lot?)
Him: Yes
Me: Well, it can’t be too bad, I did not see anything when you pulled up.
Him: It is bad. You will notice it.
Me: (Thinking-C’mon, a shopping cart, they bounce, how bad can that be? This is the guy that freaked about a scratch on his car and parks in the last spot in the parking lot so as not to get dinged)

We arrive home. He runs in to leave the money. I look at the car. Ouch! Totally indented. Big scratch.
I get back in the car. He gets back in the car.

Me: (Silence)
Him: (Silence)
Me: You hit a shopping cart? (I really should quit when I am ahead)
Him: Um, yes.
Me: But I thought they just bounced?
Him: (Silence)
Me: So…how exactly did you hit a shopping cart in an empty parking lot? (I really should quit when I am ahead)

Did I mention we have a $1000 deductible?

In totally unrelated news. I was bent over in seething pain last night. Jay was ready to take me to the hospital. I told him no, she was just moving around and went to bed.

While at work, a male co-worker looked at me and said, Holy Cow, she dropped. Sure enough, I looked down and my belly was considerably lower than before. I took a deep breath. I could breathe! Then I realized I had to pee.